Tuesday, October 13, 2009

vacancy

My mind is blank...or is it so crowded, moving at such great speed that the blur seems to be a undefined space?

I am blessed.

I am ready.

I am unsure.

I am restless.

I am content.

Sometimes there are words, but no melody.  Other times there is a beautiful melody but no words.

I spent most of the day investigating Fire-fighter school.  Not sure at all where that's going.  Talked to some people, read some stuff, though alot about it.  Probably won't turn into anything, but it might turn into everything. 

Just felt like I should write something here tonight for the sake of writing. It is healthy. 

I am ready for my Ella Grace to be here...I want to rock her.  People mock me for being excited and say that I have no idea and that "everything is over, it will all change...." Screw'um.  They don't know me.  I am not naive enough to belive that it will be the same after, but am not afraid of the change that will come.  It may not be culturally acceptable for fathers to show how much they love their kids anymore, but I refuse to participate in that BS.  Everyone will know how much I love my children, and my wife.  This is my mission.




Its blurry, but that was my BB camera. 37 weeks.


A closing word to those who are wrestling....from R.W. "When you die, you wont regret your unfulfilled dreams...just your unattempted ones."

God,

Thank you for my family. Thank you for my Emmi, and my Ella.  Help me love them outloud to the world without being afraid of reprise.  You know my heart's desires.  I wait for you. 

Peace.

2 comments:

Abby and Pete said...

rock her all you want. let her sleep on your chest until she is a teenager. she's yours. and life changes for sure...it's more and more beautiful.

Clint Lovelace said...

There needs to be more Father's out there who are not afraid to love their kids and show it and feel that strongly about their families!

Yeah, things are goign to change in a few weeks, and never be the same, but its an INCREDIBLE change and I would never take it back! It has changed for the better and I love every exhausting, exhilirating, new, unsure, heart breaking, heart warming minute of it, and I know you will too!