This is gonna be a long one....

It is 11:22 am on Monday....

I'm sitting in my daughters room, in "our" chair....rocking....praying...listening...writing.

Soundtrack: "Broken" - Lifehouse ... (it is on continuous repeat as I write this) I urge you to listen to it at the link below and listen through the perspective of someone crying out to God, listen for the hope.  LINK: Lifehouse - Broken

I've had a number of conversations in the past few days in relation to "God's will" and it has boiled over and finally reached this page. I feel again that I am at a crossroads.  What happens when you are at a place of yearning for something, but you are just not sure of what's next?

If am being completely honest, and this will sound strange to some people, I know that I am here for big things.  I feel like God has put me on this earth to accomplish something huge.  It is like a burning...deep inside me.  Some people were created to function in an everyday career.  There are people who thrive on spreadsheets, powerpoint presentations, sales meetings and HR policy. There are people who were created to save lives through medicine.  There are people who were created to build things. People who were created to empower others through education.  We have all been made with a purpose.  I feel like I am here to do something huge.

What is my calling?  This seems to be the foundational question that I am seeking to answer.  I know that one of the major pieces of the puzzle is this: Matthew 22:37-39.  "Love God...with everything, and love people."  If we subscribe to following Jesus, this is our calling.  We who have chosen to walk in Christ's footsteps are all called to this mission.  It is not negotiable.  What gets lost in the debate is how to make this practical...the second part in particular.  People often refer to "God's calling" on their life as if it were next step in the instruction manual of life.  They are looking for a prescribed list of steps to take while on this journey.  We come to a place where we feel like we've reached the end of one step and are looking for what to do next...I am beginning to think that this methodology is way off.

What if.....what if we are called simply to love God and love people wherever we are, in whatever we choose to do, whatever career we choose, wherever we choose to live?  Does this change our decision making process?

When it comes to career moves, specifically, I think the world forces us to rely to heavily on "the next step"...and forces us to become fearful of making the wrong decision that we can become paralyzed and terrified.  I fully believe that God has an infinite plan for each of us, and there is not a decision that we can make that makes God stop and say "Crap....he wasn't supposed to do that...now I have to rework this whole thing."  How much further would the world be messed up if God's perfect will was influenced by our actions? It would be chaotic.  When two people are competing for the same job, and both are praying fervently for God to give them the job...is God confused?  Does he have to choose between the two candidates?  I think not.  That would be chaotic.  God has a plan, and we cannot change it.  His plan is simple. He is going to fulfill His promises.  His plan is to give us a future and a hope.  His desire is to see us flourish and prosper, only, His definition of prosper is often not the same as I imagine...it is often more elaborate and beautiful than anything I can imagine.

So what to do as I sit here pondering about what I want to do with my life and how does that line up with my ability to love Him and love the people in my path?  There are things that I do that bring me joy.  We all have talents and abilities that are God given.  It is not a coincidence that music brings me joy. Or that serving people makes me feel complete.  Or that I have a passion for cooking.  Or that discussing business and marketing strategy makes me feel alive.  These are God given skills and tools that He has given me, and they are not to be wasted.

I feel that I have to come to a place where I know what I love to do.  God is calling me to use what I love and to turn that into a way to love Him and to love others.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring, or where I'll be in six months, but I do know this:  I will not settle to be a slave to a job for the rest of my life.  I will not work for a paycheck, or for the weekend.  I see those people everyday, and it is depressing.  We live in the greatest country in the world, where opportunity to create something is infinite.  I will continue to seek God's leading.  I will stand ready to walk through the doors He will open.  I will find a way to make a difference.  I urge you all to do the same.

Peace