Sunday, April 26, 2009

carnival ride

I am listening to a cd that I bought almost 4 years and 11 months ago. I am a musical fiend and somewhat of a snob. When I first heard Gavin DeGraw's "Chariot" album it was amazing. Tonight it still brings out the same emotion it did then. This album will forever be linked with a turning point in my life.

I showed up in El Paso late one night in May of 2004. The next 12 weeks changed my life. Interning at Casas por Cristo opened a door in my life that God had been standing outside of for a while, but I had never opened it. Over twelve weeks He took my heart and did some major stuff. At the end of it I sat on an airplane weeping, not crying, but sobbing as I watched the mountains shrink out of view. I knew then what was next for me. God called me and I answered. God did not simply call me to Casas, but to Himself. Casas was simply a vehicle, a stepping stone...a piece of the puzzle.

Tomorrow will be the beginning of a week that will be full of "lasts". On Thursday I will complete this chapter of God's story in my life. After six long months of gut wrenching tension I embraced where I believe God is leading me. I feel like this season has drawn to a close. I came here with a game plan and have executed it. I am proud of everything this organization is and everyone I have had the honor of serving alongside.

People have told me I'm crazy to walk away now and have said things like..."Don't you think God would open another door if He is closing this one?" All I can say is that when God told Abraham to get up and go, He didn't give him a map. I am certainly not half the man who is half the man that Abraham was...but I believe with my whole heart that God can see the road and is leading the way. It is simply our job to follow the lantern.

So where do we go from here? I am praying and waiting. I know that this will be one of the biggest "growth" experiences I have ever been through...God will open the right doors...I just have to be ready to walk through them.

Make me ready, and give me peace.


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